I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the day after is always just damage control
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
