fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
found the other keg... it's in the tree
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I would fuck him just for his dog
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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