I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
