We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
