I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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