Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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