nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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