yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
