i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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