u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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