Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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