craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
