Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
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His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing