You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
