Umm I'm too high to move.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
