Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
