I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
