we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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