i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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