Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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