he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
