I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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