so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
should my penis look like a turkey
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
