we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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