i was born a porn star she said
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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