i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
