"it" just moved
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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