Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just google imaged poop.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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