I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
