if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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