I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
