driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
