And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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