is your mom at the bar?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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