Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
