Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
