erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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