Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize