Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
