he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He better not be in your backpack
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
