apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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