dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize