we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
