OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
