Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize