Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
