her vagine was all disorganized.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
