I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
