I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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