My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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