I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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