lets start a swedish sibling band together
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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