i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
