i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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