She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
