No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
