Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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