Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize