I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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