Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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