hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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