Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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