I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
