It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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